Embracing gray, conservative tweaks? What does aging gracefully really mean?
Aging gracefully has many different connotations. To some it’s embracing the privilege of growing older, to others it’s beating back the clock of time with anything at their disposal. For most people, it’s a bit of both (Image by vwalakte for Freepik).
A few months back I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with a legend in the field of dermatology and fellow New Yorker, Dr. Doris Day. We discussed a wide array of skin topics, including what works, what’s changed, and what’s on the horizon of the very cutting edge, but much of our conversation circled around the elusive idea of ‘aging gracefully’ and whether beauty really stands the test of time.
What is aging gracefully?
Aging gracefully means a lot of different things to different people, because fundamentally how we perceive aging is deeply personal. To one person, aging gracefully has a negative connotation – denying the passage of time in futility, and aiming a kitchen sink’s worth of poorly thought-out treatments and surgeries which leaves you looking strange, not better.
To others, aging gracefully is a positive mindset – gratefulness of the privilege of getting older while embracing our bodies and changing appearance.
Aging is a privilege not everyone gets, but there’s no right way to do it on the aesthetic front. I think what works best is a natural approach that takes into consideration a person’s own beauty to enhance it, not change who they are. To me that’s beautiful. Image by Freepik
Where do aesthetic treatments and plastic surgery fit into these opposing philosophies? Somewhere in the middle.
Authenticity
Though I described the two extremes above, most people out there who spend time thinking about how they age (or how they want to age) have two goals (or wishes) – to remain authentic and look natural.
Natural also has different meanings depending on your mindset and values. Some people view natural as requiring no interventions whatsoever, whereas others consider natural as more of an aesthetic goal, a point of view, not denying their real age but also aiming to look as good for their age as they possibly can.
Aging gracefully isn’t an all or nothing decision. There is no box determining which treatments you can and cannot have. You determine your own box. However, if people could embrace finding and enhancing their own beauty as their goal, a lot of questionable surgery out there would go away.
It’s possible to age naturally with treatments and surgeries that address someone’s aging concerns but don’t scream ‘work done’, the kinds that are decade appropriate. Aging gracefully to me isn’t about ‘fixing flaws’, it’s about someone’s individual beauty and enhancing it.
This kind of natural approach isn’t for everyone though. It requires trust with your provider that the treatment you’ve heard about or have your heart set on might not be right for your goals and lend an unnatural look (lip lifts versus lip filler for example to address facial proportions).
Do aesthetic treatments and cosmetic surgery have a place in ‘natural aging’? Some professional approaches might be more naturally compatible than you think. Image by Freepik.
Inexpensive Prescription Hair Loss Medication Delivered To Your Door.
There’s a prevalent (and inaccurate) perception that plastic surgery is about changing the way you look. In my opinion, when done best, good plastic surgery and non-surgical treatments are all about enhancing natural beauty. Sometimes that can be correcting imbalances. Our asymmetries – which we all have – tend to become more prominent as we age and often people find that fixing them helps to remind them of their more youthful selves. The confidence boost from such a small change can be profound.
Living is change
Likewise, as we get older, our faces especially can show our history – sun damage, weight gain, weight loss, stress. I applaud people who accept those changes as a living record of who they are, but for others those same changes can serve as a reminder of things that they’d rather move past or have aged them beyond their years. Addressing those changes can help people love the age they’re at more confidently, not resent it.
Our faces show our history, the parts of life well lived and maybe signs of things we regret. Is it ungraceful to want to put something like sun damage into our aesthetic rearview mirror? Image by Freepik.
What do I think aging gracefully means?
Everyone has beauty in them. In my mind, the goal of plastic surgery should be to bring that beauty forward, so people can see themselves more confidently at any age. Less is more and strategy is critical – there isn’t one thing that will fix everything and not everything should be fixed. That goes for skincare as well – too many products can devastate the skin’s microbiome and damage the delicate skin barrier. It’s one of the reasons my Feel Confident skincare line includes a paired down routine: a cleanser, serum, and moisturizer.
But mostly, aging gracefully is entirely up to you.
